How Badly Do You Really Want to Get Your Ex Back?

How Badly Do You Really Want to Get Your Ex Back? 

In the first few days following a breakup, getting your ex back is probably all you can think about. It becomes a mantra playing repeatedly in your mind. Depending on how long and deeply involved the relationship may have been, it may be the only thing helping you hold onto a little bit of sanity as your mind comes to terms with what your heart has already discovered -- the pain of loss. 

It's important to allow a little time to pass before you make your move and try to get your ex back. Why is that? Because sometimes it's best to gain a little perspective and distance from the heartache you're feeling right now.  

Distance makes it possible for your ex to forgive hurtful words and deeds, forget pain, and begin to remember the pleasure of being with you. Allowing time for some of the more pleasant aspects of your relationship to resurface in the heart and mind of your ex buys the time you really need to make a positive impression. Unfortunately, you have to want it really bad in order to do this. It takes a lot of discipline to hold off long enough for the good memories to come back to life. 

That's the problem most people in your shoes have, though. Finding the patience and strength of will it takes to really let your ex go and wait. Wait, however long it takes, for your ex to come back to you. 

However, there are things you can do to fill your time so that it doesn't feel like you're waiting around forever for your ex to come back to his or her senses and realize what a catch you really are.  

1.      Get in shape. Whether you wish you were a little more muscular or want to lose a few extra pounds, there's no time like the present to get started. Not only will this leave a more attractive package when your ex does come calling, it's a great way to boost your confidence, restore your self-esteem, and fill the hours that are no longer devoted to spending time with your ex. 

2.      Go back to school. Even if you aren't going back for a degree. Many colleges are participating in the open culture of study these days. You can take classes from Harvard, Yale, and other top universities throughout the country free online. The knowledge you gain from these courses is invaluable even if you don't gain a degree. Some programs offer certificates of completion that can help provide you with greater upward mobility in your chosen profession. 

3.      Focus on activities and interests that lift you up. We all have areas in our lives where we'd like to see improvement. We all want to be better than we are in some ways. Now is the perfect chance for you to focus on being a better YOU!  

While you're busy doing all these things, your ex is busy missing you. More importantly, he or she is hearing, from others, about all the positive changes you're making. Your ex is sure to want to be a part of the improvements going on in your life. Now is the time when your ex is most likely to come calling. Do you know what you're going to say when your ex does? 

Start Getting Your Life Back…
Get Started Here (Instant Download)

The Magic of Making Up

 

 

Disastrous Date Night Mistakes To Avoid

Are You Making These Disastrous Date Night Mistakes? 

Date night can be a highly effective tool for putting a little love back into your relationship. Whether you're going through a bit of a seven-year-itch or on the verge of calling it quits, making the right date night choices can be a huge win for your marriage. Unfortunately, making date night mistakes of monumental proportions, such as those listed below, can spell disaster for your efforts to save your relationship. 

Spending the Entire Night Discussing Family Problems 

Date night is all about getting away from the mundane issues troubling the two of you. It's time to turn your focus on each other. Leave the kids, parents, in-laws, and outlaws at home where they belong. You want this to be a genuine "feel good" opportunity. Don't squander it by bringing bad vibes into the evening. 

Bringing Work Along on Your Date 

Whether it is in thoughts or in deeds, bringing work on your date night date not only kills the mood, but also breeds resentment. In many marriages, constant work is a problem. Your spouse feels slighted because you always seem to put work before family. When you bring work on your date night that resentment becomes a deep and simmering rage. It's just another nail in the coffin of your relationship in many ways and one that can be easily avoided one night a week. 

Cancelling Date Night or Rearranging it at the Last Minute 

Cancelling date nights is a huge no-no. It's the last thing you want to do without a darned good (I mean someone has died or is about to die kind of) reason. Whenever you cancel date night, you're essentially putting whatever reason it was before your marriage. Stuff happens. Sitters quit or cancel and you're left scrambling to find a suitable alternative. It's better to do a little additional scrambling than to deal with the romantic and relationship fallout of a cancellation.  

The same holds true with rearranging plans at the last minute. Once the sitter is lined up and dinner plans are set for the evening, last-minute rearrangements really upset the apple cart doing more harm for the date night cause than good. The bottom line is that if you aren't going to take date night seriously, it's better not to plan to have it at all. 

Falling into a Date Night Rut 

Whatever you do, don't do the same thing week after week. It becomes monotonous and routine. This is your opportunity to add a little fun and excitement to your relationship. Don't risk it by going to dinner and a movie week after week. Switch it up some and see what a difference it makes not only in your excitement about having a date night but also in your partner's response to date night. Make a date night "bucket list" of things you'd like to do on date night together and have fun granting each other's date night wishes. 

Date night can be as exciting or as humdrum as you allow it to be. Make a compact with yourself and one another not to let your date night become a run of the mill experience that's easily taken for granted. Do this and your marriage is sure to be one in which you do not take each other for granted either.

 

 

How to Make Up Fast Before You Break Up

How to Make Up Fast Before You Break Up 

Breaking up is hard on everyone involved. If you're interested in hanging on to your relationship, then the best solution is to prevent the breakup in the first place. Preventative action can save you both the heartache of a breakup and the lengthy recovery and reconciliation process. More importantly, it can help prevent many damaging words and actions before they ever happen. But, how do you stop something that seems almost inevitable? 

Communicate More Effectively 

Guys and girls have this Mars and Venus issue when it comes to communication. John Gray, Pd.D. even wrote a book about it back during the early 1990's. The book was on the bestseller lists for an unprecedented 121 weeks because the concept was so simple, and yet, so foreign. Sometimes, the best solutions really are the simplest. 

The problem, according to this book, is that men and women communicate differently. What one person is saying (or intends to say) is not always what the other person in the relationship hears. This miscommunication often causes the perception of problems or issues in the relationship that only exists in the minds of the two people in the relationship. That's why learning to communicate effectively is so important for the sake of your sanity and your relationship. 

Discover Your Love Languages 

Everyone has a love language that best sums up the way the express love and the way they best FEEL loved. The love languages include: 

1)            Words of affirmation

2)            Physical touch

3)            Quality time

4)            Gifts of service

5)            Receiving gifts 

Taking the time to understand how you best feel and express love in comparison to how your partner best feels loved and expresses love for you can save a lot of hurt feelings, cold shoulders, disagreements, and knockdown, drag out, dish flinging arguments over the course of your relationship. 

Learn to Speak Your Partner's Love Language and Accept Love from Your Partner 

You see, people don't only have a little difficulty feeling loved by partners that speak different love languages. In some cases, they have a difficult time accepting love in that language. This leads to feelings of alienation, confusion, and inadequacy for partners and drives a wedge into the relationship. 

Learning to accept the love your partner has to offer while also learning to show love in a manner that will make your partner feel loved and cherished are equally important components when it comes to love languages. They are just as important as being able to make your partner feel the LOVE you have. 

Love languages are great, but they do take time to work with and to become effective tools for saving your relationship from impending breakup. There are other options to consider if you need more immediate results.