Three Ways to Really Get Your Husband's Attention

Getting his attention was once an easy thing to do. In the early days of your marriage, you seemed to have it all the time. There were even times when you secretly wished you could have a little less of it. Lately, however, things have changed and he seems more content to work in the garage, absorb himself in video games, or assume his position as king of the Lazy-boy with remote in hand than to pay attention to you. What went wrong? And, what can you do to get his attention all over again? 

The good news for you, is that all relationships have their ups and downs. It's a normal cycle. The better news, is that it's not beyond your control to take the upper hand and make sure you have his attention now, and any other time when other issues seem to be horning in on your time with your husband. 

1) Feed him. Debi Gutierrez is a very funny comedian who understands the male psyche pretty well. She believes there are only two things you can do to really get his attention and make him happy. Feeding him is one of those things. It doesn't take much imagination to come up with the other. The thing is, it isn't all about whether or not you offer him food. It's about the kind of food you offer him. Men are lusty creatures. It shows in their appetite for you as well as their appetite for food. You can't feed him the things that leave you feeling deprived for dinner and expect him to be happy with the results. Give him real food made for his appetites and see what a difference it makes in the attention he pays you. 

2) Compliment him. Pay him a compliment. Tell him how much the little things he does really mean to you. Let him know that you appreciate the way he takes care of you and your family. Tell him how much he means to you. Women are often credited with being the sentimental ones in relationships. You often forget that men need to hear these words of affirmation and appreciation just as much as you need to hear them. Not only does this set an amazing example for him to follow but it also lets him know how you really feel about the things he does for you and for your marriage. 

3) Make yourself available to him. While we do not live in the day and age of wives submitting to their husbands in the literal sense, there is still something that touches a man above and beyond all else for you to make the first move. For you to be the one offering him what he wants from you. Make the first move. If it doesn't get his attention at first, make your offer a little bolder. Most men do not need to be asked twice though. 

Getting his attention is the easy part. Keeping it, despite all the distractions that impact relationships today is where the road gets a little rockier. Remember these tips whenever his attention starts to stray again and you're sure to keep your marriage on the right path now and down the road.

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Signs Your Husband is Cheating

No woman wants to believer her husband is cheating on her. However, most women really do know when it's happening. Whether you can admit it to yourself or not, it's almost always best to know what's going on so you can make informed decisions about what has to happen next. These are a few of the signs you should be on the lookout for that indicate your husband really may be stepping out on you. 

He Becomes Mr. Critical 

If your normally docile and easy-going husband has recently turned into Mr. Critical, it's often his way of dealing with the guilt or his affair and/or comparing you to the other woman. Many men look for faults in you in order to justify the affair and soothe their consciences over cheating.  

He Begins Spending More Time Away from Home 

If your husband has suddenly started working extra hours, joined a gym without the sweaty results, or taken a sudden interest in a previously unmentioned hobby that keeps him away from home several nights a week, it could be a sign that he's spending that time with someone else. 

He Goes "Off the Grid" Sometimes 

We live in a day and age of constant connectivity. Between mobile phones, computers, and other technological wonders, no one is ever out of touch for long. They especially aren't out of touch with any degree of regularity. If he's going off grid on a regular basis, then it's likely intentional rather than accidental and that can be a sign of real trouble for your relationship. 

His Sexual Preferences Change 

Sometimes this presents itself in a sexual drought at home. Other times it presents as more frequent sex than ever before. It's almost as if he's trying to make up for his indiscretion by behaving even more lovingly at home. However, it almost always results in changing preferences and evolving interests in the bedroom. 

He Brings Up a Specific Other Woman in Conversation Often 

If he's talking about another woman a great deal it's because she's on his mind. That, in and of itself, is cause for concern -- but not necessarily alarm. In many cases, he's thinking about an affair when he's talking about her. When he suddenly stops talking about her is when you should be alarmed. 

Knowing what's going on his mind is half the battle. It is possible to stop an affair before it gets started or becomes too serious if you are aware of the signals and make a concerted effort to stop things before they really heat up.

Building a Better Foundation for Your Marriage

Marriage requires work. This is something most couples don't understand -- at least when walking into the marriage contract. All relationships require work. Business relationships, parenting relationships, and yet, so many people are surprised to discover just how much work is required to make a marriage successful. Some couples do make it look easy. These are the couples, more often than not, who have built their marriages on solid foundations. If you're interested in keeping your marriage on track, getting it back on track, or trying to get it on track from the very beginning, you need to consider these tips for building a better foundation. 

Discuss Your Past - Briefly 

It's in the past and that's where it needs to remain. Unless you have major secrets you're hiding that could harm your relationship down the road, there isn't much to say about past relationships, connections, and events. That doesn't mean you should attempt to hide things. Only that it isn't necessary to discuss the intimate details of every boy you've kissed from third grade on up. Relationships are often made stronger because of a shared history but the relationships that last are the ones that keep their eyes on the future and are not constantly staring back into the past. 

This also works for fights, arguments, disagreements, etc. Leave them in the past and move on. If you can't forgive and forget, find a way to work it out so that you're not constantly dwelling on it. If it's an ongoing problem find a solution that works for you both or it will continue to be a problem for your marriage. 

Make Plans for the Future - Keep them Flexible 

Flexibility is a word that needs to be a cornerstone for all marriages. It's one thing to have a future mapped out together. You need to have plans for the future. But, you need to avoid sticking to those plans so rigidly that they jeopardize your future together.  

Embrace the Moment - You Never Know How Many You'll Have 

Life is short. And, it offers no guarantees. You never know how many sunrises and sunsets you'll get in your marriage. Illness, accidents, and even relationship turmoil can rob you of the future you hoped for. Cherish the time you have together. When petty arguments arise, really think, long and hard, if the argument is worth the discord. Decide if it's worth robbing you of the joy of being together -- even for a moment. 

Once you build a better foundation for your marriage, based on these principles, you'll see a huge difference in the way you approach problems and work to find solutions. Ultimately, you'll both have a happier marriage that requires less work than many other couples struggling for a future that isn't working for them, rehashing past arguments, or failing to take advantage of the time they have together today.

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Disastrous Date Night Mistakes To Avoid

Are You Making These Disastrous Date Night Mistakes? 

Date night can be a highly effective tool for putting a little love back into your relationship. Whether you're going through a bit of a seven-year-itch or on the verge of calling it quits, making the right date night choices can be a huge win for your marriage. Unfortunately, making date night mistakes of monumental proportions, such as those listed below, can spell disaster for your efforts to save your relationship. 

Spending the Entire Night Discussing Family Problems 

Date night is all about getting away from the mundane issues troubling the two of you. It's time to turn your focus on each other. Leave the kids, parents, in-laws, and outlaws at home where they belong. You want this to be a genuine "feel good" opportunity. Don't squander it by bringing bad vibes into the evening. 

Bringing Work Along on Your Date 

Whether it is in thoughts or in deeds, bringing work on your date night date not only kills the mood, but also breeds resentment. In many marriages, constant work is a problem. Your spouse feels slighted because you always seem to put work before family. When you bring work on your date night that resentment becomes a deep and simmering rage. It's just another nail in the coffin of your relationship in many ways and one that can be easily avoided one night a week. 

Cancelling Date Night or Rearranging it at the Last Minute 

Cancelling date nights is a huge no-no. It's the last thing you want to do without a darned good (I mean someone has died or is about to die kind of) reason. Whenever you cancel date night, you're essentially putting whatever reason it was before your marriage. Stuff happens. Sitters quit or cancel and you're left scrambling to find a suitable alternative. It's better to do a little additional scrambling than to deal with the romantic and relationship fallout of a cancellation.  

The same holds true with rearranging plans at the last minute. Once the sitter is lined up and dinner plans are set for the evening, last-minute rearrangements really upset the apple cart doing more harm for the date night cause than good. The bottom line is that if you aren't going to take date night seriously, it's better not to plan to have it at all. 

Falling into a Date Night Rut 

Whatever you do, don't do the same thing week after week. It becomes monotonous and routine. This is your opportunity to add a little fun and excitement to your relationship. Don't risk it by going to dinner and a movie week after week. Switch it up some and see what a difference it makes not only in your excitement about having a date night but also in your partner's response to date night. Make a date night "bucket list" of things you'd like to do on date night together and have fun granting each other's date night wishes. 

Date night can be as exciting or as humdrum as you allow it to be. Make a compact with yourself and one another not to let your date night become a run of the mill experience that's easily taken for granted. Do this and your marriage is sure to be one in which you do not take each other for granted either.