Trying to Get Your Ex Back

It's not easy to be on the outside looking in at what used to be your path to happily ever after. Being unceremoniously dumped without anyone asking your permission, not only hurts, but it also makes your entire world feel as though it's spiraling out of control. Your solution to the problem is simple.

You have decided to get your ex back. You've thrown all your heart, soul, and energy into the coffers and, yet, you're still not seeing a satisfactory return on your investment. If anything, the cold shoulder your ex has been giving you just keeps getting shoulder. What's going wrong in your efforts to win your ex back? Perhaps, it's one of these common, but fixable, hiccups.

You're Trying Too Hard

You want results and you feel that this is worth an all-out effort on your part. Unfortunately, what your ex needs right now is a little bit of emotional distance from the situation. Sometimes absence really is all it takes to make the heart grow fonder. You just have to give the absence the opportunity to happen. Step back. Scale things down completely and let your ex get a taste of what life is really like without you in it.

Making all the Wrong Moves

At least, that's what it feels like is going on. Every move you make feels like it's pushing your ex further and further away. The thing is, it's not the moves you're making that are the problems. It's the fact that you're making them. Stand down. Give your ex a chance to breathe a little. Use this time wisely to come up with a plan of action designed to get your ex's attention in a really positive way when the timing is right.

Moving a Little Too Fast

This is quite common. Your heart is telling you to get in there and "Nip it in the bud!" You don't want to hear any more of this breakup talk. You want to end it all, right now and get on to the infinitely more enjoyable making up talk. There's a reason Barney didn't get a loaded gun and that he was only given ONE bullet. Your heart means well but it doesn't always steer you in the right direction.

If none of these things work to get your ex back, then what will? It takes a well-planned and executed attack to win your ex back after a breakup. You must spend some serious time planning your strategy and paying attention to the little details. More importantly, it takes knowing what to do next. A second chance is just that -- a chance. If you want to make it work, a second time around then you need a little magic on your side. I can help with that!

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Stop Comparing Your Romance to those On the Big Screen

There are many reasons why your romance will never measure up to those on the big screen. If you're constantly comparing your relationship, then you'll never be satisfied and both of you will end up being hurt in the long run. You might be curious about why it's such a bad thing to compare your relationship to those "picture perfect" relationships in Hollywood. Here are a few good reasons why your relationship will never measure up to theirs and why that's a good thing. 

Hollywood Films have Professional Script Writers 

More importantly, these scriptwriters spend hours agonizing over the right words and sequence of events to create a plausible conversation. And they have control of all sides of the conversation. In real world relationships, you only get control of what comes out of your own mouth and that's tenuous at best in the heat of the moment.  

You Don't get to Start the Scene Over When it Doesn't Play Out Right 

The more heated the discussion becomes, the less control you seem to have over the words coming out of your mouth. That doesn't happen in Hollywood. The director just cuts the scene and takes a break when things aren't flowing the right way. You don't get an opportunity to "un-ring" bells in real life. Once it's come out of your mouth, it's there. In all its glory and for the one person who means the most in the world to hear. 

The Actors Put their Characters to Bed, Alone, Each Night 

After a long day of practice, script reading, and careful staging or choreography, the actors leave their characters behind and return to their own lives. That's not a luxury you have when you're comparing your relationship to those on the Silver Screen. You're comparing something real -- your own relationship -- to something that's made believe and temporary at best.  

Actors in the movies don't have to decide who pulls the midnight shift for diaper duty. They don't have to fight over who washes dishes or even who gets control of the remote control for the evening or any of the other petty worries that cause discontentment in modern relationships.  

At the end of the day, everything in Hollywood is the work of an entire team of people working towards one common goal. Hair is always picture perfect; makeup is just right, music, mood lighting, and script in place to produce a little magic on the screen. These things, while enchanting in pictures, fall flat and just shy of satisfying in real life. In the end, you'd grow tired of the façade and run off in search of the real deal or relationship gold. That's why it's better to skip out on the perfect front Hollywood presents and go for something a little heartier in your own relationships instead.

 

 

What's the Big Deal About Date Night?

In the beginning, most couples have no trouble to sticking with a weekly date night. It's a great way to go out and do fun stuff together -- as a couple. It's time to get out of the house and break the routine a bit. However, time marches on. Children come into the picture. Budgets get strained. Economies tumble. The weekly ritual of date night takes a backseat to diaper duty, PTA meetings, and extra shifts at work. Then the marriage starts to crumble bit by bit. Is all this really the result of no longer having date night? It could be. Date night is more important than many couples realize on the surface. But why is it so important? 

Date Night Helps You Stay Connected 

We live in an amazingly connected world. We have laptops, mobile phones, tablet devices, instant messages, Facebook status reports, Twitter feeds and countless other methods to stay connected on-the-go. With all that connectivity, the human connection often gets lost in the mix. People ignore the person sitting across the room in order to connect with someone thousands of miles away they haven't seen in fifteen years. Date night, takes all that away and leaves the two of you alone to connect with one another -- no matter what else is going on in your worlds. 

Allows You to Spend Time Together as Lovers 

Date night is about being alone together. More importantly, it's about going out, away from the house (and the responsibilities that live in that house) and spending time together as lovers. It's a change to hold hands, to have adult conversations, and to, dare I say it, FLIRT with one another. It's time to be man and woman rather than MOM and DAD. It's important because it helps you remember why the two of you fell in love in the first place. 

Forces You to Make Time for Each Other 

One of the most important things you need to do, for the sake of your marriage, is make time for each other. In putting your family first, which is an admirable quality in any family, it's very important to remember that your spouse if your family too. He or she needs your time just as much as each and every one of your children. Date night, gives you one night, out of seven, to spend time together. It shouldn't be too much to ask -- no matter how busy your lives become. 

If you really want to maximize the effectiveness of date night, avoid topics of conversation involving school, work, family, and calendars -- unless you're discussing an upcoming romantic getaway that you're both excited about. Date night is your opportunity to rev up the romance engine in your relationship. Don't take it for granted.

 

 

 

 

Libido Lifting Food for Your Next Date Night

Food for Love? Libido Lifting Food for Your Next Date Night 

Want to try something new and different to turn your traditional date night on its ear? Have you considered a date night filled with foods designed to heighten awareness and boost libido? In any relationship, it can lead to a few truly interesting propositions and, perhaps, more than a few delightful dilemmas.  

Oysters 

You don't have to walk around the block too many times before hearing about the widely held believe that oysters have an almost mystical aphrodisiac affect on those who consume them raw. Science has uncovered a wealth of zinc in oysters which actually boosts testosterone making it a potent force, indeed, for the men who consume them. Consuming oysters raw is necessary for the most powerful benefit though any form is sure to help if your libido is truly lacking these days. 

Avocados 

Because of the potency of this particular dish, Spanish priests once forbade parishioners from eating avocados for fear that it would incite lustful thoughts. The large amounts of vitamin B6 and potassium in avocados does make them an excellent food to include in your next libido bringing date night meal -- as they are famous for raising libidos in men and women alike. 

Chilies  

It's the capsaicin in chilies that leaves people who consume this spicy little number feeling more than a little burst of natural endorphin - stimulated libido action. Whether you consume them without anything else to water them down or chopped and included in prepared meals, the results are quite impressive. 

Chocolate 

Though most commonly associated with women and romantic feelings, the truth of the matter is that the phenylethylamine in chocolate triggers the production of serotonin and endorphins which are both known to take you happy places. 

Date night is an important part of any adult relationship. Eating the right foods during your date night can all but ensure you'll get a happy ending for your evening. Use these foods responsibly and make sure you're both sure to be happy with the outcome. The real key, however, is to present these foods in a manner that isn't exactly obvious.  

·      Create a menu ahead of time.

·      Don't provide any of the foods on the list in isolation - make them part of a bigger picture for the evening.

·      Have fun playing around with the theme.

·      Don't be afraid to try new things for similar results. 

Once you add these dishes to your date night repertoire, you're sure to find new challenges for creative date night meals and locations. Above all else, date night should be a time for the two of you to relax, unwind, and let your hair down together.

Building a Better Foundation for Your Marriage

Marriage requires work. This is something most couples don't understand -- at least when walking into the marriage contract. All relationships require work. Business relationships, parenting relationships, and yet, so many people are surprised to discover just how much work is required to make a marriage successful. Some couples do make it look easy. These are the couples, more often than not, who have built their marriages on solid foundations. If you're interested in keeping your marriage on track, getting it back on track, or trying to get it on track from the very beginning, you need to consider these tips for building a better foundation. 

Discuss Your Past - Briefly 

It's in the past and that's where it needs to remain. Unless you have major secrets you're hiding that could harm your relationship down the road, there isn't much to say about past relationships, connections, and events. That doesn't mean you should attempt to hide things. Only that it isn't necessary to discuss the intimate details of every boy you've kissed from third grade on up. Relationships are often made stronger because of a shared history but the relationships that last are the ones that keep their eyes on the future and are not constantly staring back into the past. 

This also works for fights, arguments, disagreements, etc. Leave them in the past and move on. If you can't forgive and forget, find a way to work it out so that you're not constantly dwelling on it. If it's an ongoing problem find a solution that works for you both or it will continue to be a problem for your marriage. 

Make Plans for the Future - Keep them Flexible 

Flexibility is a word that needs to be a cornerstone for all marriages. It's one thing to have a future mapped out together. You need to have plans for the future. But, you need to avoid sticking to those plans so rigidly that they jeopardize your future together.  

Embrace the Moment - You Never Know How Many You'll Have 

Life is short. And, it offers no guarantees. You never know how many sunrises and sunsets you'll get in your marriage. Illness, accidents, and even relationship turmoil can rob you of the future you hoped for. Cherish the time you have together. When petty arguments arise, really think, long and hard, if the argument is worth the discord. Decide if it's worth robbing you of the joy of being together -- even for a moment. 

Once you build a better foundation for your marriage, based on these principles, you'll see a huge difference in the way you approach problems and work to find solutions. Ultimately, you'll both have a happier marriage that requires less work than many other couples struggling for a future that isn't working for them, rehashing past arguments, or failing to take advantage of the time they have together today.

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How to Get Him Back after Your Heart Broken

Your Heart is Breaking - How do You Get Him Back? 

Your heart is breaking. That's a fairly common denominator after a divorce or breakup. You even want to get him back. You still believe that he's the one. All you need now is to convince him that you're still the one for him.  

Unfortunately, your confidence, in the days and weeks following a breakup, is at an all-time low. It makes it difficult to sell yourself when you don't have complete faith in the product you're peddling. So, what can you do to restore your confidence and win him back?  

Start in the Mirror 

Look at your reflection and let your inner diva loose. I'm not talking about trash talking yourself or putting yourself down. The last thing you want to do is make yourself feel even worse.  

What you need to do by letting your inner diva loose is put a little color in your cheeks, get rid of the bags under your eyes, and stop wearing mascara that's going to leave you looking like Tammy Faye Bakker every time you cry.  

Find ways to bring out the best of your beauty. Then, find new and clever ways to hide your perceived flaws. You know, accentuate the positive. Let that be your focus for the moment. 

Rejoin the World of the Living 

If you're anything like most girls after a breakup, you've been holed up at home with a pint of Haagen-Dazs and a spoon at the ready since the moment you got the news. The only time you're out and about is to replenish your ice cream supply and to work (if you don't have an adequate number of vacation days saved up to cover your time of crisis).  It's time to break out of your shell and get back in the real world. 

Even if you're heart's not in it, you want to look like you're back on the market. Why's that so important? Because it will put him on the defensive. It will leave him wondering why you're able to bounce back so quickly. It will cause him to examine his role in the relationship and where he may have been lacking as well. Most important of all, because it puts YOU on HIS mind - a LOT. And that's the one thing you want most right now. 

But, how you turn all this around and make it work in your favor to win him back? It seems like an awful lot to go through without actually doing anything to win him back, right? Not so much. Believe it or not, you're doing things the right way this way and putting the pressure on him to make the first move.  

Let him see that you're still looking good and going out on the town. He's going to be the one interested in discovering your secret. He's going to be dying to know why you aren't more broken up over this.  

He's GOING to call. Do you have any clue what to say when he does? Let me help you come up with the perfect response to leave him breathlessly waiting for your next call.

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Magical Words to Win Him Back

Zip Zam Zoom – Magical Words to Win Him Back 

Getting your boyfriend back isn’t always a walk in the park. You may have been trying for some time, without success, to make it happen. That’s probably what led you here. You’re looking for a quick and easy, perhaps even magical, solution to get him back for good this time around. 

What is Magic? 

For some people magic is something mystical and wonderful that cannot be understood, much less explained. For other people, magic is simply a trick of the eye or some sort of sleight of hand that always has a solution. 

Whether your definition of magic includes something enchanting and wonderful or a mystery to solve, getting your boyfriend back doesn’t involve supernatural maneuverings. 

BUT 

A few magic words certainly want help. 

Zip 

This is the little pop of fun, pep, and life that is necessary in all lasting relationships. What kind of zip has your relationship had lately? Were things going along swell and suddenly the bottom fell out?  

OR 

Have things been slowly switching from sizzle to fizzle in recent months? When was the last time you went on a romantic date together? How long has it been since you weren’t able to keep your hands off each other? 

But how do you put the “zip” back in after the fact?  

You add the zip into your own life. Spruce up your image a bit. Add a little sparkle to your appearance, add a little boost to your confidence, and become the vibrant, active girl you were when you first met. If the two of you move in remotely similar social circles he will hear about the new you – and it will drive him insane with curiosity. 

Zam 

Get into the best shape of your life. Whether it’s losing weight or adding a little tone, now is the time to get into shape and really take care of yourself. Make sure you’re eating nutritious meals and drinking plenty of water to stay hydrated. These things are important because the one thing you want, more than anything else, if you cross paths with your ex boyfriend is to come across as happy and healthy. 

He expects you to do a little bit of pining and it’s going to really make him curious about what’s going on in your life if you’re going around looking better than ever. 

Zoom 

Keep going and don’t stop to grieve over him. Commit yourself to living your best life without him in it. It’s not moving on. It’s not letting go of the idea of getting him back. It’s even better. It’s showing him that you don’t NEED him – all the while he’s figuring out that he might actually need you.  

Relationships aren’t easy, but neither is breaking up. Give him the chance to see that you’re making it on your own, without him, and he’s very likely to make the first move so you will have no trouble convincing him that the idea to get back together was all his. THAT is the truly magical aspect of getting your boyfriend back – convincing him that he’s the one who wanted to make it happen.

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Lazy Man's Guide to Getting Your Girlfriend Back

The Lazy Man's Guide to Getting Your Girlfriend Back 

Breaking up is especially difficult when it wasn't your plan. Men handle unexpected breakups in different ways. Some men go all in to get their girlfriends back. They jump through crazy hoops, make deals, bargain, beg, and come close to stalking in an effort to get her back. 

Other men decide that maybe this is just how things were meant to be and seek greener pastures elsewhere - at least, that's what they do in time. It often takes at least a little while to mend their broken hearts and feel willing to put them back on the market again. 

But there are still others who want to ride off into the sunset with the girl that got away, but have no idea how to make that happen. More importantly, they want to get her back but they don't want to have to jump through hoops to do it. 

Fortunately, hoop jumping really isn't necessary to get her back. You don't even have to do the chasing. You'll probably be surprised to learn just how easy it can be to get her to come back to you. 

Don't Call Her 

Sounds simple enough, doesn't it? After all, it requires no action on your part. What it does require, though, is dedicated inaction. That's not so simple when every instinct you have is telling you to go after her. 

It's the primal male drive to conquer all threats to life, limb, and overall happiness. You want to make her see the light. You want to show her how good it really is between you. You want things to be the way they were.  

Chasing the girl down might make her swoon in the movies. In real life it nets you a restraining order. Give her a little time to work through her own emotions and take a little time to really think about whether things really were all that good (for both of you) the way they were. 

Make Small Changes at Home 

You don't have to become a completely new man. That's way too much work. But you might make a few small changes in appearance - yes girls really do notice these things. Consider something simple to start with like teeth whitening to brighten your smile.  

While you might not be interested in a full blown gym membership, you might want to consider lifting weights at home (within reason) or playing racquetball or even pickup basketball games for a little firming and toning - maybe even skip that second beer at night or cut back from the pizza. Small changes don't require a lot of effort and can deliver really big results. 

Wait for Her to Come to You 

Believe it or not, the world is small. Once people start noticing the little changes you're making, and believe me they will, word will get back to her. Women are curious creatures. Not only in the sense that men have a hard time understanding them, but because they like to know what's going on. 

It will drive her insane with curiosity that you're doing so well without her. She'll want to know why you're looking better, getting together with other people, and making changes for the better in your life - even little changes get big attention in today's world.  

She will call or "bump" into you just to see what's different. She'll be desperate to know what's going on. That's when it's really time to work your magic. All you need now is the right thing to say to convince her she was wrong to walk away.

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Can You Buy Your Ex Back?

Have you ever resorted to expensive gifts to make up for major misdeeds in the course of your relationship? Many men offer costly gifts to the women they love in hopes of smoothing things over and making it right. It may have started out with flowers and chocolates. Over time, the practice escalated to expensive jewelry, cars, homes, and vacations. The bigger the misdeed, the bigger the buyoff.  

Unfortunately, this practice often does more harm for the relationship than good. The relationship becomes a series of highs and lows with each one attempting to outdo the other. Eventually, you're either out of money or in debt so big that even more problems are being created. All the while, nothing is getting solved. It's just being temporarily swept underneath the discarded ribbons, bows, and tissue paper. 

Here are a few questions to help you get a handle on your gift buying tendencies whenever relationship problems arise. 

How Much Will it Really Cost? 

The costs are not always measured in dollars and cents. Men, especially, will gladly pay the price in dollars to avoid the emotional confrontation required to deal with the real, underlying problem in the relationship. Buying gifts provides a quick, albeit temporary, fix for a problem they don't really want to face. The thing is, the problem is still there the next time mistakes are made and the price tag for avoidance keeps getting bigger and bigger every single time. 

How Much Have You Spent Already? 

The other point to consider is this. How much money have you already spent trying to delay the inevitable? The longer you attempt to put it off, the harder it's going to be to deal with when the time comes. It's kind of like an onion. The core problem is still there. Unfortunately, you're going to have to go in and peel each individual layer, uncovering new problems and hurt feelings along the way, to get to the heart of the matter when the time does arrive to fix the problem or walk away. That money could solve many problems you're having and would have likely been much better spent building your future together rather than covering up the "sins of the past." 

How much can you really afford to spend? This is the final question for many men in your shoes. There's never really enough, is there? Love is something that can't be bought. Forgiveness can't really be purchased either. Women may joke about it, but the truth is they'd rather fix the problems and save the relationship the old-fashioned way than through gifts and bribes. She's MUCH rather receive gifts from you as tokens of love from you instead of buyoffs for her affections.

 

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Want to Get Your Ex Back? Try This!

Movies and romance novels make it look so easy to get your ex back. We all understand that love goes wrong sometimes. But, if you really want to turn the tide for your relationship, you might have to switch up tactics a little bit and try something new and different. Don't let cheesy romantic movies and novels that are fantasy filled ruin your chances. Instead, take a moment to sneak a peek at real advice that gets real results. 

Walk Away - And Don't Look Back 

I'm not saying you shouldn't entertain the idea of getting back together with your ex or that you should even give up hope that you'll be able to accomplish your mission. However, you want to make your ex believe that you've given up -- that you aren't trying to fix things anymore.  

Why?  

Because that's really the only way your ex is going to recognize what it means to be alone. As long as you keep coming around or trying to make things right, your ex has the pleasure of your company and the certainty of your support. Walk away. Go through the motions of moving on with your life and let your ex see what life is like without you in it. More importantly, let your ex wonder who you're spending your time with now. 

Start Investing in Yourself 

During a relationship, people often spend so much time focused on the other person that you ignore the things you want or need. Now is the perfect opportunity to put a little time and attention to fulfilling your own wishes and needs whether they are educational, financial, career-related, or physical in nature. Put yourself first for a change and enjoy a return on investment that involves self-confidence, self-value, and a renewed sense of self-worth. 

What most people don't realize is that this is a critical component of getting an ex back. When you start taking care of yourself and putting yourself first for a change, there are often visible changes the world will notice. Word travels quickly in some circles and your ex, unless he or she has relocated to a rock on Mars, is likely to hear about all the changes going on with you. Your ex is bound to be curious and curiosity usually works in your favor at times like these. 

But, don't take the call, answer the email, or agree to meet your ex until you have a solid strategy in place to make the most of this meeting. Without the right plan in hand, you can undo all your hard work in one single phone call, conversation, or meeting.

 

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Six Secrets for a Long Healthy Relationship

We live in a time when people change relationships more often than they change hairstyles. Some people would call them disposable. Easy come. Easy go. But, what happens, when you think you've found the one. You know, the one they wrote epic poems about long ago. The one that makes every other relationship pale by comparison -- at least as far as your relationship experiences are concerned. How do you hold on to this special relationship while so many other couples are unable to make it work?  

The key word here is work. You have to work at making relationships last. Fortunately for you, these six secrets for relationship success don't always feel like the hard work they are. 

1) Communicate. You have to communicate effectively with each other. That doesn’t simply mean you have to talk to each other. You have to also understand each other and be on the same page about many things in your relationships and in the lives you build together. 

2) Connect. The physical connection between couples is vital to relationship longevity. It goes beyond what takes place in the bedroom however. You really do need the connection of human touch to help solidify your bond. Cuddle together on the couch, hold hands in the theatre, and hug each other as often as possible. The more you touch, in a genuine and affectionate manner, generally speaking, the happier you are together. 

3) Find common ground. Every relationship needs a little common ground. These are the areas where the two of you have shared convictions. Sometimes these convictions are based on morals or religion. Other times they're related to causes or politics. Whatever your shared convictions may be, it's a wise plan to cultivate that common ground and grow together. 

4) Shared interests. This is a little different than common ground. Your interests don't have to be on the same scale. However, if you both love the ocean you might find that buying a sailboat, for instance, is a great way to feed the love of sailing the open seas for one while feeding the love of water and sunshine for the other. You both love the ocean and sailing gives you an opportunity to enjoy the thing you both love together. 

5) Companionship. You must spend time together if your relationship is going to work. Otherwise there really isn't a relationship to cultivate. Time is critical. Finding positive ways to spend your time together, even in troubling times, is a great way to build a stronger relationship together -- especially if you're both committed to the cause of making your relationship last. 

6) Time apart. While it's important to spend time as a couple in order to cultivate and grow the relationship, it's also important to enjoy a little time outside of your partner's company. You both need friends on the side for blowing off steam, wise counsel, and a little break from the intensity of the relationship. 

These six secrets may not look like all that much on a piece of paper, but over the years, they will all make a huge difference in the strength and resilience of your relationship together. Keep them in mind at all times for best results.

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How Badly Do You Really Want to Get Your Ex Back?

How Badly Do You Really Want to Get Your Ex Back? 

In the first few days following a breakup, getting your ex back is probably all you can think about. It becomes a mantra playing repeatedly in your mind. Depending on how long and deeply involved the relationship may have been, it may be the only thing helping you hold onto a little bit of sanity as your mind comes to terms with what your heart has already discovered -- the pain of loss. 

It's important to allow a little time to pass before you make your move and try to get your ex back. Why is that? Because sometimes it's best to gain a little perspective and distance from the heartache you're feeling right now.  

Distance makes it possible for your ex to forgive hurtful words and deeds, forget pain, and begin to remember the pleasure of being with you. Allowing time for some of the more pleasant aspects of your relationship to resurface in the heart and mind of your ex buys the time you really need to make a positive impression. Unfortunately, you have to want it really bad in order to do this. It takes a lot of discipline to hold off long enough for the good memories to come back to life. 

That's the problem most people in your shoes have, though. Finding the patience and strength of will it takes to really let your ex go and wait. Wait, however long it takes, for your ex to come back to you. 

However, there are things you can do to fill your time so that it doesn't feel like you're waiting around forever for your ex to come back to his or her senses and realize what a catch you really are.  

1.      Get in shape. Whether you wish you were a little more muscular or want to lose a few extra pounds, there's no time like the present to get started. Not only will this leave a more attractive package when your ex does come calling, it's a great way to boost your confidence, restore your self-esteem, and fill the hours that are no longer devoted to spending time with your ex. 

2.      Go back to school. Even if you aren't going back for a degree. Many colleges are participating in the open culture of study these days. You can take classes from Harvard, Yale, and other top universities throughout the country free online. The knowledge you gain from these courses is invaluable even if you don't gain a degree. Some programs offer certificates of completion that can help provide you with greater upward mobility in your chosen profession. 

3.      Focus on activities and interests that lift you up. We all have areas in our lives where we'd like to see improvement. We all want to be better than we are in some ways. Now is the perfect chance for you to focus on being a better YOU!  

While you're busy doing all these things, your ex is busy missing you. More importantly, he or she is hearing, from others, about all the positive changes you're making. Your ex is sure to want to be a part of the improvements going on in your life. Now is the time when your ex is most likely to come calling. Do you know what you're going to say when your ex does? 

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Disastrous Date Night Mistakes To Avoid

Are You Making These Disastrous Date Night Mistakes? 

Date night can be a highly effective tool for putting a little love back into your relationship. Whether you're going through a bit of a seven-year-itch or on the verge of calling it quits, making the right date night choices can be a huge win for your marriage. Unfortunately, making date night mistakes of monumental proportions, such as those listed below, can spell disaster for your efforts to save your relationship. 

Spending the Entire Night Discussing Family Problems 

Date night is all about getting away from the mundane issues troubling the two of you. It's time to turn your focus on each other. Leave the kids, parents, in-laws, and outlaws at home where they belong. You want this to be a genuine "feel good" opportunity. Don't squander it by bringing bad vibes into the evening. 

Bringing Work Along on Your Date 

Whether it is in thoughts or in deeds, bringing work on your date night date not only kills the mood, but also breeds resentment. In many marriages, constant work is a problem. Your spouse feels slighted because you always seem to put work before family. When you bring work on your date night that resentment becomes a deep and simmering rage. It's just another nail in the coffin of your relationship in many ways and one that can be easily avoided one night a week. 

Cancelling Date Night or Rearranging it at the Last Minute 

Cancelling date nights is a huge no-no. It's the last thing you want to do without a darned good (I mean someone has died or is about to die kind of) reason. Whenever you cancel date night, you're essentially putting whatever reason it was before your marriage. Stuff happens. Sitters quit or cancel and you're left scrambling to find a suitable alternative. It's better to do a little additional scrambling than to deal with the romantic and relationship fallout of a cancellation.  

The same holds true with rearranging plans at the last minute. Once the sitter is lined up and dinner plans are set for the evening, last-minute rearrangements really upset the apple cart doing more harm for the date night cause than good. The bottom line is that if you aren't going to take date night seriously, it's better not to plan to have it at all. 

Falling into a Date Night Rut 

Whatever you do, don't do the same thing week after week. It becomes monotonous and routine. This is your opportunity to add a little fun and excitement to your relationship. Don't risk it by going to dinner and a movie week after week. Switch it up some and see what a difference it makes not only in your excitement about having a date night but also in your partner's response to date night. Make a date night "bucket list" of things you'd like to do on date night together and have fun granting each other's date night wishes. 

Date night can be as exciting or as humdrum as you allow it to be. Make a compact with yourself and one another not to let your date night become a run of the mill experience that's easily taken for granted. Do this and your marriage is sure to be one in which you do not take each other for granted either.

 

 

How to Make Up Fast Before You Break Up

How to Make Up Fast Before You Break Up 

Breaking up is hard on everyone involved. If you're interested in hanging on to your relationship, then the best solution is to prevent the breakup in the first place. Preventative action can save you both the heartache of a breakup and the lengthy recovery and reconciliation process. More importantly, it can help prevent many damaging words and actions before they ever happen. But, how do you stop something that seems almost inevitable? 

Communicate More Effectively 

Guys and girls have this Mars and Venus issue when it comes to communication. John Gray, Pd.D. even wrote a book about it back during the early 1990's. The book was on the bestseller lists for an unprecedented 121 weeks because the concept was so simple, and yet, so foreign. Sometimes, the best solutions really are the simplest. 

The problem, according to this book, is that men and women communicate differently. What one person is saying (or intends to say) is not always what the other person in the relationship hears. This miscommunication often causes the perception of problems or issues in the relationship that only exists in the minds of the two people in the relationship. That's why learning to communicate effectively is so important for the sake of your sanity and your relationship. 

Discover Your Love Languages 

Everyone has a love language that best sums up the way the express love and the way they best FEEL loved. The love languages include: 

1)            Words of affirmation

2)            Physical touch

3)            Quality time

4)            Gifts of service

5)            Receiving gifts 

Taking the time to understand how you best feel and express love in comparison to how your partner best feels loved and expresses love for you can save a lot of hurt feelings, cold shoulders, disagreements, and knockdown, drag out, dish flinging arguments over the course of your relationship. 

Learn to Speak Your Partner's Love Language and Accept Love from Your Partner 

You see, people don't only have a little difficulty feeling loved by partners that speak different love languages. In some cases, they have a difficult time accepting love in that language. This leads to feelings of alienation, confusion, and inadequacy for partners and drives a wedge into the relationship. 

Learning to accept the love your partner has to offer while also learning to show love in a manner that will make your partner feel loved and cherished are equally important components when it comes to love languages. They are just as important as being able to make your partner feel the LOVE you have. 

Love languages are great, but they do take time to work with and to become effective tools for saving your relationship from impending breakup. There are other options to consider if you need more immediate results.